Why being a girl isn't working out for me:

Body:	Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me:	Please, god, no--
Ovaries:	ALL SYSTEMS GO0O0O0OO0OO0O0O0
Brain:	I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me:	Please, guys, calm down--
Face:	TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain:	And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso:	Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me:	STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach:	lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me:	I hate you all
Brain:	I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face:	Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus:	what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain:	you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 10 months straight.
Uterus:	You mother fuckers.
Torso:	CONTRACT!
Me:	I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain:	Me gusta.
This is me right now.